In this entry to my blog, I'm going to talk about some single ladies who are looking for a man, the people I'm talking about will remain anonymous. The reason for this is if they were to find out I'm a blogger and then look at my blog - they would consider me a tosser rather than a blogger! I'm not necessarily going to be insulting them, more document my observations and see how it applies to the wider population of singletons. But I'm pretty sure if you were the subject of this blog you'd take it as an insult. Anyway, that's me getting myself out of hot water should it ever come down to it, so here we go...
Single women, are you all completely mental, man hungry, obsessive, clingy, self-destructing head cases? Or is it just the ones I've come across (no pun intended)? Are you bringing misery and pain upon yourselves on purpose? From where I'm standing, it looks that way! In my every day life I have to deal with a few ladies who I think fit the description just given, they are single and their life is engrossed by the fact they don't have a man. They dedicate their entire being to eradicating themselves of this horrible existence as there is no possible way you can be happy without a man by your side. Any man who dares send some attention their way, be warned: your every SMS, movement, interaction with the opposite sex is going to be scrutinised to high heaven. You're on a hiding to nothing, expectations are far too high and they are setting themselves up for a fall every time.
Take single lady number 1 as an example, we'll call her Gina. Gina is pretty, if a little on the plump side, goes out at the weekend and on the outside appears to be a happy (aren't happy fat people described as bubbly?) and confident person. But listening to a few minutes of her pouring her heart out after yet another 5 minute relationship she has thrown herself in at the deep end for, she's an emotional mess. Her life might as well be over and men are absolute pigs. Despite being in a relationship and having been honourable for the entirety of said relationship, I was tarred with the same brush purely for having a penis. It's a horrendous cycle of meet man, think he's amazing, build up your expectations, expectations don't get met and it all ends in tears. As soon as the claws of Gina are in any man, she moves into self-destruct mode. She's reading the texts on his phone, wanting to know where he is all the time and getting worried when he doesn't answer calls. I've had to endure ridiculous conversations which even your average agony aunt wouldn't know where to start with. I read his texts and he had text another girl, he went out instead of coming to see me, we've split up after going out for a week... CHILL THE FUCK OUT! If I was still playing the game - and believe me I've played it - I'd be out of there quicker than she's probably dropping her knickers to try and get this hiding to nothing relationship to last 5 minutes longer. All for the sake of dropping the dreaded single tag, most of these girls are getting into a relationship because they can, not because they want to. Which brings us onto lady number 2...
We'll call this one Chantelle. Chantelle in my opinion isn't an oil painting, without wanting to be harsh I'd put her in the "5 pinter" category. Even in my single days it would have taken a considerable bet for me to consider going there and I'm infamous for not being overly fussy in my past. If in Family Fortunes style a hundred people had been asked to name her best feature, let's just say none of them would have said her face. Everyone knows a Chantelle I'm sure. Without wanting to slate her further (I'm sure you get the picture), Chantelle has recently had reason to celebrate by acquiring relationship status. Hurrah! The shackles of being single are off and she finally has a man. It was a long slog and was never going to be easy, but she got there in the end. She talks about her man often and I think has convinced herself this is going to be a long term thing, all good stuff. I'm genuinely happy for Chantelle, not only because I don't have to hear her constant whining about being single, but it's not often you look like that and find anyone who stays beyond the first night. So is it a happy ever after? No, in a word. I found out today that she doesn't find her new man attractive but does think he's nice. Classic Chantelle, she's found someone who didn't chew their arm off to get away unnoticed after the first night and has thought "this will do". Anyone who ever thinks this in a relationship, get out of there. You're wasting your time. I've been there, thought things were alright, nothing special but can't complain. It never ends happily - or if it never ends you're throwing your life away with someone just to avoid being single. This is where I can't work out why you wouldn't be happier not in a relationship, it was a mediocre relationship with no spark that brought about my attitude of not settling for just anyone. I wasn't going to give up my single status unless it was worth it, nor should anyone else. It's a complete waste. I'd wager now that this will last a few months tops.
Single ladies, please use the previous paragraph to your advantage. You're not going to find the man who will whisk you off your feet, put a ring on your finger and give you babies by looking for him. As stupid as it sounds, stop looking! I'm no dating guru and was hardly a playa in my time (my previous reference to having played the game was a joke by the way), but if I can offer you one bit of advice that I'm certain will be of use - just don't look for that man. I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone, if they don't turn up tomorrow, next week or even next year, they're there somewhere. Enjoy dating and get out there and meet people by all means, use the dating sites and join clubs so you can meet new people, this will obviously increase your chances of finding someone compatible. But let them find you! Don't pin your hopes on any sap stupid enough to find himself in your claws.
I think somewhere along the line the status of "single" has almost become an insult, people don't know how to be happy on their own anymore. It's impossible in the eyes of some. I've seen Jeremy Kyle hand this advice out on a daily basis and couldn't agree more - you're not going to be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself. Where has this need from single people to get into relationships come from? Has it always been this way? Everyone just make sure you're happy, please just be happy so I don't have to put up with the lonely hearts club meeting on a regular basis!
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